Life is Not Fair...but God is Good

I just came back from a retreat given to high school scholars of PJPS.  A retreat I agreed to participate in without thinking, meaning, when Jackie asked me if I can come to help guide some kids, I just said, "sure, why not?"

 

It has been a while now that I haven't done any apostolate work.  I am always willing to volunteer but unfortunately, the timings were not right.  I went to this retreat without expecting anything.  All I know is that in whatever state I am, God will use me. He will move hearts through me.

 

I only asked for one thing at the start of this retreat, that I may be humbled.  I have been struggling myself with my own faith in the last couple of months.  The relationship with God is still there, but one that is strained.  I could not come to terms with some of the things that have happened in my life.  I found myself questioning, unsure, and rebelling.  For a while, I just don't want to have anything to do with him...I am just tired.  I am just hurt.  I am just wounded.  How ironic it is to think that I almost felt abandoned, ignored, unloved by Whom who has beheld me, who has made me beautiful, who has called me worthy.

 

I guess as much as the kids needed this retreat, I needed this too.  I need to be reminded of HIM, of his love for me.  I need to be reminded of a far bigger reality than my own world.  My sentiments, my hurts, my pains are nothing to compared to what these kids are going through, or has gone through.  The profound  wisdom I was presented with is that as I am busy confronting God with my personal dilemmas, these kids confront God not just of their own personal struggles but of the struggles of their loved ones.  These kids see beyond themselves.  These kids look beyond their own struggles.  These kids look after the care of their immediate family, of the people they love despite being hurt by these same people.  

 

I was moved, I broke down, when one child said "Life is unfair."  I was stirred because at her young age, she can already see the injustice in the world, the imbalance.  True, life is not fair.  It is life's reality that she has discovered so early in life.  And yet, what most of us has missed usually, she was able to grasp and treasure ---- sure life treats us unfairly, but God is good to bring us people, opportunities in order to deal with life.  Sure there are a lot of things to be bitter about, but there are also a lot of people, circumstances, things to be thankful for.

 

This retreat has reminded me of a profound message that usually a lot of us take for granted...God is good.  We may be down on the ground battered and seem unable to stand up and fight back, but God never gives up on us.  He will make a way, through people, who will remind us that we are worth fighting for.  I was touched when that child realized that in spite meeting people who push them down, there are also people, countless of people, who are willing to help them back to their feet, people who care, people who want to see them succeed.  And this is how this child felt God's love. Then it hit me, this is how God is loving me, by inviting me in this retreat he allowed me to be loved through these kids, and he also allowed the kids to feel his love, through me.  Sure. life is not fair, but God is always good. All the time.

 

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Ms. Renee Bernardo is a Product manager at Delfi Foods, Inc.  She studied Theology at the Loyola School of Theology in Ateneo de Manila University. She volunteered as a facilitator for the PJPS HS Retreat.

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